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Wednesday, March 26, 2014

B-More, round 2...plus some unconditional happiness

Since I last wrote, post-first round of injections with Dr. Crutchfield, I have yet to feel any relief or changes in my symptoms. Frustrating, yes...but like I explained before, the "average" number of necessary injections is 2.36 so still room for hope that they could actually help. Dr. Crutchfield assured us last week that it's still worth going through with round 2. If I don't experience any changes after that, we'll reassess and likely not proceed with a third set.

So Craig and I fly back to Baltimore tomorrow for my Friday morning appointment. In addition to the injections, he'll also review the radiology report from the x-rays I had done yesterday here in Phoenix. We're hoping to see an improvement in the ligament instability at C1/C2, as a result of wearing that sweet neck brace these past 9 weeks. It's been tough forcing myself to keep it on when I haven't felt a sliver of improvement in my pain. Case in point - I pulled up next to a friend yesterday at a red light. We rolled down our windows and he yelled "where's your neck brace??" and I said, "oh, it's right here" as I reached into my bag, which was sitting in the passenger seat next to me. Like so many other things I've done in chasing down this headache, the lack of positive feedback (that I can FEEL, that is) is incredibly challenging to deal with. I liken it to the frustration of someone trying to lose weight, who exercises and eats well every single day and never ever sees their numbers shift...not even a tiny little bit. As more time passes, it becomes harder and harder for that person to stay motivated...to feel like the small steps they take every day are propelling them forward.

Well that's kind of a bummer mindset to get stuck in. Until a few weeks ago, Craig and I had a no-fail remedy for my bummed out feeling, and that was YouTube-ing videos of cute puppies (obviously). Somewhere along the line, I decided that it would just be easier if we got our own cute puppy and that would save us the trouble of sorting through all of the mediocre YouTube clips. Wearing Craig down wasn't an overnight process...it took relentless commitment and persistence. Given that I'm not working right now, I convinced him that if we ever wanted a dog (which we knew we both did), NOW was actually the perfect time. So I arranged for us to visit a litter of black and yellow lab puppies and once we saw this face, there was no turning back.

If you're friends with me on Facebook, this isn't breaking news because I've probably blown up your newsfeed over the last week or so (you can unfriend me, I'll understand). But our little Charlie girl truly is the most welcomed source of unconditional happiness for both Craig and I. It doesn't matter how shitty you feel...try looking at this and not smiling.

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